There is a class of individuals who are just too nice. They are very polite, always available and apologetic even when they’re not wrong. You may have come across them or you may yourself be one of them.
Sometimes, these individuals have ulterior motives for being nice. Rarely, very few of the individuals are genuinely nice.
There’s nothing wrong in the first category of individuals being ignored.
Sometimes the second category individuals are not granted the recognition of their effort, which they deserve.
Let’s talk about the remedies for the second category individuals.
The urge to be desired or liked by a specific person or a group is a natural instinct. We have developed it through evolution. This was needed for our survival. We needed to live in communities, have family and friends, and this instinct helped us to fulfil those needs.
While there is no harm in having this urge, sometimes, when unchecked, over-doing it can create a perception of weakness about you.
Once you reach this state, it becomes very difficult to fix the perception people may have developed about you.
The core of this entire situation is failing to assert boundaries.
When to say no, or push back, is a very subjective question and many of us find ourselves in a dilemma about it.
This dilemma is, ‘the nice guy dilemma’.
Here are 4 ways to break out of this dilemma and fix the perceptions about you.
Go with your instinct:
Don’t suppress your instincts. If your instinct is noticing red flags, respect it and take appropriate decisions.
Be ready to walk away:
If you are sensing that you are not being prioritized properly, then instead of seeking to be prioritized, walk away. This means that you may have to walk on lonely roads many times, and you should be okay with it.
Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated:
A person who can be manipulated by money, lust or fame is not respected, trusted, feared or loved. Make yourself manipulation proof from these stuffs. Whatever decision you are taking, take a pause and think, are you taking these decisions on your own, or are you being manipulated ?
Don’t let go without seeking a satisfactory justification:
Sorry, or an apology, can’t always be a way out for someone for the wrong done to you. Seek a satisfactory justification before letting go of the wrongs. Letting go on vague, incomplete or insincere apologies may make you look like a friendly person, but that can be seen as a key to manipulation you.